I need to remember that the way I react to things that other people do is just that… MY reaction. Nothing anyone says or writes or does should actually incense me or make me sad or upset me in any way. I should just act like they do and live my life for me.
Of course, that’s easier said than done from my perspective, but I can give it a try.
I just realized how passive aggressive something I was about to do was.
Shame on me.
I’m in a weird place about some stuff.
I think I’m pondering something that I seriously don’t even have knowledge that I need to ponder yet. But it seems odd the way it’s going, which means that it’s either in an extreme one way or the other. I’m oddly worried more about the one I thought I’d be thrilled about. So… hmmmmmm. Have to wait it out a bit anyway, until there’s anything at all to deal with.
My panic about this math testing reached a fevered height on Friday, and I chicken shitted out and now have to take the test on Wednesday. I’m not thrilled, but we’ve known that the whole time.
I’m becoming a better skater. There’s no reason not to believe in myself in this capacity, I’m more fit than I’ve ever been, and more capable. And I’m sure of myself in a certain regard, in that I won’t give up. This, this is my thing, or at least one of my things. Holly once told me that she believed in me because I try so hard when I want something, and I will wait for my moment and jump for it. She’s one of maybe four people in this world who believe in me like that that don’t have to because they’re my mother. So, one of five or six, I guess, total.
Ugh. Early shift tomorrow, then also an evening shift. Weird split because I wanted to gain some hours back. I’ll be exhausted, but at least I can take the time to chill in the middle.